Raz's Hands
by KaylaDestroyer
Summary: After the encounter with Precious, Raz finds herself miraculously back in Australia. After establishing a home and reflecting on many things she always thought ought to be left alone for good, someone she thought she'd never see again makes a reappearance that changes everything. This is not tied to 'Inocent Tena'. Dedicated to MBSAVfan1 and lily for their review support! ;)


Raz's Hands

_I wake in the morning tired of sleeping_  
_Get in the shower and make my bed alone_  
_I put on my makeup talking to the mirror_  
_Ready for a new day without you_

Raz sighed heavily. After the encounter with the whale (a memory she didn't want to bring up) she had scrambled herself on top of a tiny ice floe, and managed to float all the way back to her home continent. Although she was astounded at how she had lasted so long, she wasn't about to ask any questions. Upon landing she had doubled over on her stomach flat on the ground and kissed the sand in sweet bliss, before getting up slightly and crawling up the beach to where the grass began to grow, feasting on the short vegetation. Now things were slightly better; she had her own territory and...well that was about it. Food to eat, a place to sleep, and a home of her own. That was all she needed right now, since she was still getting over the shock of losing her shipmates.

The speed at which she had been separated from the dearest animals in the world to her frightened her. It was like when had had been separated from... She shook her head. No, now was not the time to think about him. He was why she had started the pirate life in the first place. Because he was gone, because of those stupid humans, because of that cliff. Raz sighed as she sat in the sand, gazing out at the horizon.

_And I walk steady on my feet, I talk, my voice obeys me_  
_I go out at night, sleep without the lights_  
_And I do all of the things I have to keeping you off my mind_  
_But when I think I'll be alright I am always wrong 'cause_

She closed her eyes, unable to keep from imagining all the good memories they had shared. She had first met him when her mother had sent her away from a dingo attack, and he had been the one to find her by that tree, to comfort her, to carefully take her by the hand and lead her back to the mob so they could organize a search party for her parents. Their friendship extended long after that, eventually leading to his proposal. A memory once dear to her, now only made her squeamish and seek solitude.

_My hands_  
_Don't wanna start again_  
_My hands_  
_No they don't wanna understand_  
_My hands_  
_They just shake and try to break_  
_whatever peace I may find_

_My hands_  
_They only agree to hold_  
_Your hands_  
_And they don't wanna be without_  
_Your hands_  
_And they will not let me go_  
_No they will not let me go_

She held her hands up for a random inspection; he had always held them in the gentlest way, always whispered the kindest words in her ear. He would hold them as though they were precious gold, and he a greedy human. Only he was loving and endearing, not greedy. And she felt exactly the same. After so many years, she had to say it to herself one last time. She had to admit...she loved him. Loved him so much, and then he was gone.

_I talk about you now_  
_And go a day without crying_  
_I go out with my friends now_  
_I stay home all alone_  
_I don't see you everywhere_  
_I can say your name easily_  
_I laugh a bit louder_  
_Without you_

_And I see different shades now_  
_And I'm almost never afraid now_  
_But when I think I'll be okay_  
_I am always wrong now _

She closed her eyes and sighed once more, holding her hands against her chest, which was now emanating a great pain. She had never faced the memories. The blood that dribbled through his fur as he battled against their spears. The strain in his eyes as he fought to protect her. She had fought back as well, but only when the humans had broken through the jack's forces. She hadn't been injured at all, but he might have well been killed. That was why when he told her to run, she did. And never looked back.

He wouldn't survive, she knew it. And she didn't want to see the moment of his death. Perhaps that was why she still felt a small hope? A silly little hope, but all the same, she had never confirmed it with her own eyes. Was that why she had taken up learning about weapons from Gutt? To prove to him one day that she could defend herself? That she was worthy?

That they would never have to worry about the humans again?

_I talk about you now_  
_And go a day without crying_  
_I go out with my friends now_  
_I stay home all alone_  
_I don't see you everywhere_  
_I can say your name easily_  
_I laugh a bit louder_  
_Without you_

_And I see different shades now_  
_And I'm almost never afraid now_  
_But when I think I'll be okay_  
_I am always wrong now_

She had always tried to get rid of any recollections. She had been a pirate, with not only adventure everyday, but the means to ensure she survived that adventure, and she could take food from anyone. She didn't need him protecting her. Maybe that was how she was able to forget for so long. But now, with such familiar sights surrounding her, with the well-known scents, all the memories came rushing back too. Gutt was the only one she needed to pledge allegiance to, he was her captain. But_ he_ was the only one for her to pledge her faith and love to, he was her mate.

_I talk about you now_  
_And go a day without crying_  
_I go out with my friends now_  
_I stay home all alone_  
_I don't see you everywhere_  
_I can say your name easily_  
_I laugh a bit louder_  
_Without you_

_And I see different shades now_  
_And I'm almost never afraid now_  
_But when I think I'll be okay_  
_I am always wrong now_

_My hands_  
_Don't wanna start again_  
_My hands_  
_No they don't wanna understand_  
_My hands_  
_They just shake and try to break_  
_whatever peace I may find_  
_My hands_

_They only agree to hold_  
_Your hands_  
_And they don't wanna be without_  
_Your hands_  
_And they will not let me go_  
_No they will not let me go_

Raz sighed. She didn't know what to do. She had lost everything, for the second time, and now she was alone. Her mind had drawn a complete blank.

_Sometimes I wake and see them reaching out for you_  
_Quietly breaking whatever shields_  
_I spent so long building up_  
_I cannot fake, cos when they cry I'm unspoken_  
_They miss holding my baby_

_My hands_  
_No they don't wanna understand_  
_They just shake and try to break_  
_whatever peace I may find_

So many times she had awoken from some dream or nightmare, to find herself caressing the air, or holding herself tightly, thinking another kangaroo was in her grasp. And for that one moment she would crack. She would seek out Shira, and the saber would comfort her by any means necessary. But now she was alone, not even another of her kind to keep her company. The area she had claimed seemed to be the only thing that comforted her; it was her old home, the one they had shared. Why she had decided to settle in this exact spot, she didn't know. Perhaps the only thing that could keep her mentally alive were the memories; the fact that she had once had a life here would encourage her to find a new one?

But she was still lonely, a bit too lonely. What was she to do now? Who would help her? Who would be around that she knew from earlier years? "...Raz?" She stiffened. The voice was soft, gentle, barely a whisper.

She didn't turn; it had to be her ears playing tricks on her, her mind's sinister way of trying to comfort her. "Raz, is that you?" She opened her mouth to speak, but no words formed. "Come on sheila, ya' remembah' me, don't ya'?" A hand lay itself gently on her shoulder. She glanced to her left; the fur was rusty red, and a long red scar ran down the center of it. She exhaled slowly, disbelief, among many other things, swirling within her.

She slowly turned her head to look up into a pair of light blue eyes. The jack sat himself down beside her, eyes peering hopefully into hers. His body was covered with scars, one in particular angling down his nose. But his eyes were as untouched as before. He gently cupped his hand around her cheek. Then she dared to speak, to breathe one word that hadn't graced her lips for years. "...Anthony?" The jack smiled broadly.

"Raz." he whispered. The jill shook for a moment, a feeling she couldn't describe as anything besides overwhelming joy welling up in her chest. With a lone tear starting to slide down one cheek, she sniffled and threw herself into his wide, strong chest, wrapping her arms around him.

_My hands_

_Your hands_  
_They don't want to be without_  
_Your hands_  
_They will not let me go_

_Not they will not let me go_

_My hands_  
_They don't wanna start again_  
_My hands_  
_No they don't wanna understand_  
_My hands_  
_They just shake and try to break_  
_whatever peace I may find_

Her fingers gripped his fur and she pressed her face into the fur covering his chest. She let out a small sob, more tears leaking out of her eyes. "Anthony." she whimpered. The large kangaroo jack embraced her tightly as well, resting his chin on top of her head. He brought one hand up to stroke her ears as she sobbed quietly. "I thought...I thought ya' shot through."

"So did I when I couldn't find ya'."

"I'm sorry, I thought..."

"We both thought."

_My hands_  
_They only agree to hold_  
_Your hands_  
_And they don't wanna be without_  
_Your hands_  
_And they will not let me go_  
_No they will not let me go_  
_No they will not let me go_

Raz never wanted to let go, lest she lose him again. After releasing her tears (of many emotions) she pulled her face away to look into his eyes once more. So blue, so loving. He smiled softly down at her, and she gave a small smile back. Anthony then held up something Raz faintly recognized. "I found this on tha' beach. I kept it as kinda' a good luck charm."

He then tied the seaweed strand around her long ears, at the top of her head, in an elegant bow. Raz smiled fondly and touched the plant; she remembered finding it as a little girl, her father doing exactly what Anthony had just done. She had never taken it off, until that day. She leaned against him, smiling softly as he embraced her once more. She felt like herself again; the Raz who grew up hopping across the beach and over the Australian grasslands. The girl who wore a seaweed bow and had a mate who was her best friend. "I'm home." she said.

"So am I." Anthony whispered. The two sat in silence for another moment.

"What happened to ya', Anthony?" There was a deep chuckle as he stroked her ears once more.

"Many things. Things that should be disclosed latah'." he replied. Raz settled for that. "What happened ta' _you_?" Raz smiled and looked up at him.

"Many things. Things that don't mattah' anymore."

* * *

**So how was this? Just a little separate story about Raz after the fourth movie. Figured you all would want to read something from me since 'Inocent Tena' is finished. I actually wrote this after completing the 18th chapter of 'Inocent Tena'. Just needed a little break, had a mild case of writer's block, plus I always like imagining stuff like this for Raz. Plz review and tell me in detail what you think! This is a stand alone one-shot!**


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